Report on the status of the Fifth Infantry Battalion
Artistic License from Leiutenant Rogir, Battle Command.

When there is no one left to call, it's time for the survivors of the Fifth Intergalactic Infantry to make thier mark, normally on each other.

Former veterans of the War against the Covenant, they find themselves all but abandoned and left to their whims and wits on the surface of Zambai 7. Chaos follows in their wake, as well as tanks, cursing, explosions, property damage, and the ever violated laws of physics.

Facts about the Fifth Intergalactic Semi-Mechanized Infantry: Current Staffing Level: 1 Commissioned Officer, 1 Non-Commissioned, 2 Specialists

Peacetime Casualties: 266 267

Unit Roster:

Willy's Pic Lieutenant Hammer, Acting Officer

Age: 29

Weight Out Of Armor: 191 lbs

Former Posting: In our command.
Good thing I got rid of him. -Gen. V

Combat Specialty: Hand to Hand, Rifles, Survival, Special Forces.

If ever there was a man who picked the wrong line of work it was Hammer. He never should have been an officer, and whoever let him graduate from the academy should be shot. He barely pays attention to his men, twice he's been charged with fraternizing with his subordinates, and he never seems to have any luck with getting anything done. In fact, if his combat record wasn't so good, we'd have gotten rid of him a long time a go.
Given the circumstances, I can think of no one better to handle the Spriggs/Willy scenario, in part because when we lose him I won't feel so bad. In fact, it should be entertaining to see if Willy, Spriggs, Triple M, or what kills him first.

Should I put you down for five on Willy? -Gen V.

Willy's Pic Specialist Willy
Age: 27

Weight Out Of Armor: 210 lbs of pure muscle, baby!

Military Background: Combat Engineer.

Technical Specialties: Demolitions and Entrenched Defenses
Warning! Specialist Willy is considered a 'prime risk' by headquarters, given his technical expertise mixed with uncontrolled agression. His temper is prone to flare ups (noted by the unit as him 'loosing it' or havng 'lost it') which result in damage to everything within a couple kilometers and normally injuries to himself.

To be fair, Willy also has several accomondations besides the purple heart from the war with the covenent, including a Silver Star for his roll in destroying a Covenant Carrier with equipment provided by a unit of turn-coat grunts following the initial invasion. During the award ceremony however he 'lost it', knocking out a general before a Spartan on hand for the event restrained him. Apparently this was trigged by Spriggs, who was onhand for the celebration.

Despite this, Willy is in my opinion not only unstable, but dangerously so. He's a genius with electronics and explosives but a failure at life in general. I'd courtmartial him, but I'd also ask for an airborne assault to back me up when I did it.

Spriggs PicSpecialist Sergeant Triple M

Age: 24

Weight Out of Armor: 170lbs

Former Posting: Rifleman

Combat Specialties: Melee Combat Specialties: Melee Weapons, Grenades, Duel Wielding, and..... 'Commander of the Ultimate Mech' Hmm, Maybe I shouldn't trust this file. Especially where it starts talking about the 'intergalactic defenders' and the 'horde of ninjas and pirates'. Would order a psychological test, but that would be redundant.

Well, at least we transferred him to the right place... -Gen. V

Triple M is the latest member of the fifth, transfered in from 'the rainbow squad' where he was supposedly responsible for a political mess with the elites than can only be described as 'weird' and 'interesting'. Apparently, no one told them we were at peace, so they waltz over, kidnapped the Elite's general on Zambai 7 and had some fun with him even after they were told to return him. The general was not pleased with the Tu-tu.

Since they had not recieved word of the end of hostilities, they were technically cleared of all charges. He was however put in the fifth for safe keeping.

The only thing that worries me is his current role as Sergeant combined with the ineffective Officer could lead him into other 'projects' beyond our control. Who knows what he could be up to when we aren't watching. Plus, 'Rainbow Squad' is too close for my liking. We should move him farther away, before anything else happens.

-Considered and Ignored. Stop telling me how to do my job. -Gen V.

Spriggs Pic

Specialist Spriggs

Age: 23

Weight Out of Armor: 134 lbs

Former Posting: Scout, Champion of Marines Moped Team

-No Additional information provided: All Requests Blocked By Acting Commander of ONI-

No files, no history beyond awards, nothing to indicate who spriggs is. I'll investigate the matter, but now having learned the source of the data block I'm going to have to do this veryyyyy carefully.

However, Under NO CIRUMSTANCES should this individual be within 2.4 miles of Specialist Willy.